The Truth About Moving Out

Moving out… what an experience it is! I have lived with my mom for the past 24 years so that was all I was accustomed to. Over the past couple years, after my older sister moved out, we have grown even closer. We had an amazing relationship, thanks to the fact that she was pretty lenient with me. We had a pretty solid schedule going. She went to work super early and then I would work until she came home around 3pm. She would do whatever she needed to do for the afternoon and once I was done with work, we would have dinner together and maybe watch Family Feud and tell each other about our day. I loved every moment of it.

About a year ago, my best friend asked me what I thought about moving out together. I was all for it, of course! We used to talk about it all the time in middle school but once we got older, we realized we may not be doing that. It wasn’t really a conversation anymore until a year ago. We started looking for apartments and saving money and wow, it was quite difficult. Then, about six months ago, as we all know – coronavirus hit.

I lost most of my hours at work so we had to postpone it even more than we had planned. We continued to look more once August came and after a few tours, found one that was perfect for us. Plus, we were quite picky I have to say. We wanted equal sized bedrooms, closets, and bathrooms with a balcony and preferably a gym in the community. We got it all! I learned quite a few lessons through the process and even had some huge realizations.

One of the major things, of course, was the money. I think a lot of people only think about the monthly payments when in reality, it is much MUCH more than that. I saved a lot of money, so luckily it wasn’t a huge hit to my bank account, but it was definitely more than I anticipated. Not only do you need to think about the monthly payments but there is also electricity, water, sewer, wifi, cable and trash (unless you’re lucky enough to get some of these included).

Once we actually moved out, we had to do our first grocery trip. Luckily, a lot of these things won’t be needed every week but it was a whopping amount of money. We also had to invest in furniture (yay for OfferUp!) and decorations (TJ Maxx and HomeGoods, duh). So, I urge you to save more than you think you’ll need if you’re considering moving out.

Another thing we had to discuss pretty thoroughly was about actually being roommates. Were we a good fit? Did we agree on cleaning and cooking schedules? There were a lot of questions that came up during this time and we had to be sure that we would be able to get along. It isn’t necessarily foolproof to have this conversation, but it’s better to iron out some of the details now rather than later. I am sure there will be more problems that come up here and there, but it’s important to have open communication with each other. You can’t hold things in or be afraid to say anything if something is bothering you.

The last thing I went through is pretty personal and still happening. There was a lot of excitement prior to moving out. I never had a problem living with my mom but I was pumped to start living with a roommate and experience being on my own and having more responsibility. Little did I know that once I moved out, I would miss my mom terribly. I had never truly thought about how much it would affect me. I definitely felt bad for being the last child out of the house, but I didn’t think about ME and how I would react.

For the first couple days, I was extremely homesick. I missed our conversations and checking in on each other through the evening. I was nauseous, couldn’t eat, and found myself tearing up every time I thought about my mom. Little by little it has started getting better, but I am still having trouble. We have talked every day and even had lunch over FaceTime together one day. All I can say is that sometimes you don’t know what you have until you don’t have it. I wouldn’t take back moving out, but it definitely makes me appreciate my mom even more than I already did (which was A LOT). It also makes me more excited to see her and hang out with her.

Moving out can be a really tricky process. I admit, it was harder than I thought it would be but I am glad for where we have ended up. Our family and friends have helped tremendously and I have felt so thankful for each and every person’s support. It has been a week since I have moved out and I am so excited for this new journey. I can’t wait to experience all that comes with it!